Friday, January 23, 2009

yes

................

With one finger over my mouth I shushed you.

And twirled

Forward

Backwards

The love for music

has grown to be so special in only ways a bird can sing

with his wings caught in the fence.

I pressed my lips against mine

And then I had to resort to yelling to tell them

I think I know

I know

Come on

Trust me

But nothing I said could be understood.

For had I not tried to let you be understood?

The craziness that always comes back to me

And how to make a shield against myself and their fears?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 

and some

................

First you should smoke a smoke

Everyone’s watching

Laugh while they choke

Because they laughed at you

Those many of times you let them

You didn’t know though

You thought you were making nice by being nice

Prairies dawn and it’s your turn to flash on by

Passers by go around

Around they go

All about town

And they smile in their pictures

In case

You know

One day

They should have those pictures be seen.

Elevators to my lover and I do miss him

I found his real body in my dreams last night and I played fourteen hands of chess

Alone

In my dreams

But he just stood next to me the whole time

I promise lover lady listen lick me love it listen I’m here

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 

haha

Someone gave me this bracelet when I was young. I don’t remember who it was. It was just someone. And they always pretended they knew me. Almost like calling me a stranger first, without even asking if I was alright. I had already won to many fights and I knew how to do it well. Win fights that is. That was or is. I really like how songs just put me in my seat and demand of me my attention. Listen to every word I sing to you as you misbehave behind closed doors. Fighting yourself, fighting your friends, and all the while being frightened. There is my spicy pepper. I missed you so. Oh lovely dovey the songs we wrote last time were romantic but we have so much more work that needs to be done.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 

Something was in my throat but it wasn't words.

Im sorry I tried to strangle you. 
I didnt mean it I swear. 
I swear no no no ha ha I didint mean it.
No body told me it was easy .
It was those eyes you see 
those eyes that sloped down like two sad trees...
trees you see.
Both of those eyes they wore jackets. 
they looked back at me.
I felt spicy all over like a seasoned pepper.
something was in my throat but it wasn't words and thank god for that.
because who gives a fuck
fuck 
and tomorrow it will be like Christmas reading all of the promises I made
to myself.
A bunch of fucking liars that's who!
A bunch of fucking liars.
and the minute you start lying to yourself you start lying to everyone around you.
all of them spinning hahahahah laughing
what a bunch of monkeys.
together we can participate in making it happen
yes we can
yes we always have could.
bunch of monkeys.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 

A day in the life of what happend yesterday

..........................

I’m kind of a genius and there he is again Jimmy is back.....

He is the symbol of my creative genius. ....

every time he comes over we like to just sit and stare at our ideas until they turn into action. ....

.. ..

Clap your hands ....

Is that a clap I just heard? ....

I miss your face. ....

Everyday that I have woken up since ....

It’s like that movie we watched once where all the leaves had fallen to the ground. ....

Something inside me tells me happy days are to come when the shades of the sky are yellow and orange and red. ....

My environment ....

It could have all just been my environment and my lack there of. ....

How many times can some one run around and around in their room? ....

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

Maybe I can still have him, you know?....

I love him, you know?....

I can do anything, I know. ....

Myself, I know. ....

What I do and how do you do?....

And I just want to tell him all I have found.....

He will see it ....

And love it ....

And we need to be sitting here now next to each other....

And I will say "Hello Boy,....

so kind of you to finally listen to me."....

And he will say "Yes I am here now."....

So then I will read to him aloud everything that I have wanted to read to him aloud.....

He loves it....

Because he knows that ok finally its time to relax and enjoy knowledge....

And spread it around....

And on a Blue Sunday or rather a gorgeous one ....

We would be able to take our hands down to the flowers where I have always wanted to go. ....

That perfect shade of tan and that song that just lifted from everywhere inside me.....

I promise I promise I promise....

My heart is forever yours.....lady lady flower.......

The promises that have been made to you.....

The powers that are rightfully yours.....

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

ha and an island in my arms.. like the blue blue cold drink I wanted to have had splashed over my fears. ....

Didn’t you bother to see which way he went?  ....

I always loved the way she laughed.....

She was so perfect in her laughing. ....

It just broke through like an expression of God. ....

Poor God is always trying to bring the peace and were always all like "uh uh whatevers dude we love science."....

.. ..

.. ..

Hello I love myself wont you tell me your name.....

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

hold me.. never mind I don’t need you to hold me because I’m like a princess with a magic wand and I say you jump and you dance...and then everyone agrees that they love me...or at least I do.....

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

Do you think it would have been ok to walk backwards? ....

Stop asking everyone what they think should be ok. ....

I feel ok. ....

Are you ok? ....

Why can’t you do anything on your own?....

Why can’t you be ok if everyone is non ok? ....

I’m only asking because you told me to .. see I’m just like you. ....

.. ..

.. ..

.. ..

I want everything to be happening now. ....

Oh yeah it is happening now I almost forgot. ....

I’m always forgetting and that forgetting is getting in my way. ....

Trouble and danger. ....

Beware. ....

glass jaw and the doors and the doors and the doors. ....

.. ..

.. ..

omg move me to ....California.........

.. ..

.. ..

that’s the next promise land . ....

I want to be the next LA woman sung about.....

tell me it....

 aint it the truth.....

 I need to be dancing ....

I’ve always needed to be dancing ....

Its another way to relate....

 and hey if you could just show me how to show how then we can be in business.......

.. ..

and its just right there it always finds me first. ....

GOD always finds me first. ....

mmmmm mm i love him. ....

See, give me a script to write and play the music that sets the tone....

because I have just opened up something that I needed. ....

The spicy pepper thing again. ....

What? ....

I have always loved you. ....

This is way better then your friends. ....

Driving down your freeway....

Midnight allies to be used as my thrown. ....

I want to be dancing to this song. ....

Its my song ....

this song is my song. ....

We were born together. ....

Its always ok to be born together. ....

The mojo rising ...oh excuse me Mr Mojo. ....

"How do you do?"....

Pepper and Mr Mojo.  my characters........

.. ..

Play with me some more this is fun. ....

It’s better then scary.....

It is very very very just very. ....

I love growing up ....

And then tomorrow will be a time better then this ....

Because that’s always promised.....

I can’t wait.....

I love creating and I cant wait for you to know everything..........

Its coming its coming its coming.....

Focus on one thing.....

The promise land.....

.. ..

That pragmatic program that was purchased for its potential as a prop.....

.. ..

I can’t hear anything past what you just said....

What about having dreams ....

and in those dreams people come to visit you and while they are visiting they tell you some stuff and then you wake up.....

You take a shower and do the things you do while awake. ....

and every now and then you have this thought that is more profound then the rest ....

and somehow you connect it to what was said while being visited in your dreams. ....

.. ..

.. ..

people places and things really don’t matter.....

im always happy all over and I just thought everything was fixed ....

and it was time to laugh laugh laugh all the way home.....

not we. ....

I understand sounds better when I’m around you. ....

I understand sights. ....

I just know everything that you were suppose to.....

Maybe I took it from you. ....

Maybe I stole it from you and you placed me way up top in this gorgeous life of a life ....

and what was left of me but to just let you do your thing. ....

I want your songs but I don’t want that song ....

and i know she is coming, I dreamt it you know?....

cause I dream everything and whatever I have better bigger things to plan about.....

.. ..

.. ..

haha I always plan ahead. and some.....

.. ..

Friday, January 16, 2009 

some more


have done 
have you been here
have you been done here
tomorrow lies in knowing
yourself
but once you do then its your friend 
then
people are always pretty 
and you tell them
they can
they will
and what else is there to do?
really 
what else is there to do?
other then to dance?
or watch
or spin
or play
or anything
Im proof
I am proof
you are the miracle
what do you like?
ask yourself
hmm
what do i like?
oh yeah?
thats interesting
just do that.
surround yourself with it
through visuals
practice
reading
be it
do it
but dont ask twice
once will surffice. 
just know 
and you do know 
what your part is in making it happen
you know it
so do it 
and then reward yourself with love 
comfort

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